Tuesday, 11 November 2008

WHAT'S IN BEASTS BAG

UPDATED


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You girls have your handbags , the Beast has his ever present MANBAG.


"WHATS IN YOUR BAG BEAST " I hear you rudely enquire.




Rather than brusquely telling you to feck off and mind your own business the Beast has opened his heart (and indeed his bag) for your delectation and delight.




OK left to right we have


1.Gym Kit , water bottle and towel - Before Miss MJ makes nasty remarks , they are all freshly laundered.


2.Packet of smints and Cherry flavoured Soothers.


3.The Fake Rolex Mr C brought me back from Turkey - Mr Frobisher got a fake Armani , sadly for Mr F within ten minutes it stopped working and the face fell off - for once the gods have spat on that blighter Frobisher and Beasty is smiled upon by angels :-)


4 . My Electronic cigarette with spare rechargeable battery and a replacement nicotine thing.


5.My wallet and a green connecty thing (no idea what it is but its always been in my bag)


6.A lipsyl - Beast puckers kissable lips MWA.


7. A Cafe C unintelligible shopping list (Would you guess 5 Britneys means 5 Asparagus bunches - no ? well nor did I......and so inevitably I got told off , my long list of short comings were discussed at high volume and in tedious detail and I was banished to scrub things in the kitchen and ponder the fact I had let everybody down , worst of all let my self down , and spoiled everybodies day - harrumph. Later when it was discovered I had bought non organic carrots the shite really hit the fan :-(


8. My lighter.


9. My gym toilet bag - the contents of which shall for the moment be shrouded in mystery .




See that was dull , bet your sorry you asked now
For Mr E , a nice picture of a UK electrical appliance plug and a wiring diagram from the more nerdy elements amongst my readership

52 comments:

inkspot said...

Yey! A clickety picture that gets bigger when you click it.

That wallet looks interesting, sort of swollen and tumescent. Contents please?

scarlet-blue said...

So what happens when you use no.4 and no.8 together?
Sx

CyberPete said...

That's not a manbag. That's just an ugly backpack.

What's the black thing next to everything?

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
Yey! A clickety picture that gets bigger when you click it.

That wallet looks interesting, sort of swollen and tumescent. Contents please?

Oh thats a whole post on its own Inky

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
So what happens when you use no.4 and no.8 together?
Sx

You probably have to use the lypsil to smooth burnt lips Miss Scarlet

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
That's not a manbag. That's just an ugly backpack.
HOW RUDE!

What's the black thing next to everything?
Thats a fangled coffee machine Cyberp

CyberPete said...

Sorry but the purple and red colour combination brings out the worst in me.

The coffee machine looks kool.

Anonymous said...

Wheres the bottle of poppers lube and condoms and of coarse someold tissue papper! can i take this time tooinvite everyone who reads this shit blogg! CAFE CUNT IS HAVEING A HOMO, NIGHT CALLED RUBBER DUCK!! THERE WILL BE SOME TOKEN LEZBIONS THERE TOO! MAKES ME FEEL SICK THE THORT OF WATT THEY GET UP TOO! TALKING OF LEZBOINS LOVE YA FN!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Gorilla Bananas said...

Are you going on a hike somewhere, Beast? It sounds like the kit that the SAS would take on a mission to persuade The Village People to do a reunion concert.

INNER VOICES said...

how does the number four work? twenty year plus smoker wants to know...

MJ said...

That's not a manbag. That's just an ugly backpack.

*agrees with CyberPoof*

And it stinks.

Haven't you managed to quit smoking yet?

I want to go to the rubber duck homo night.

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
Sorry but the purple and red colour combination brings out the worst in me.
Its black and red but is probably a bit faded from use
The coffee machine looks kool.
Ta , its marvellous

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
Wheres the bottle of poppers lube and condoms and of coarse someold tissue papper!
I would imagine they are all in your bag
can i take this time tooinvite everyone who reads this shit blogg! CAFE CUNT IS HAVEING A HOMO, NIGHT CALLED RUBBER DUCK!! THERE WILL BE SOME TOKEN LEZBIONS THERE TOO! MAKES ME FEEL SICK THE THORT OF WATT THEY GET UP TOO!
They speak very highly of you
TALKING OF LEZBOINS LOVE YA FN!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Eh ?

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
Are you going on a hike somewhere, Beast? It sounds like the kit that the SAS would take on a mission to persuade The Village People to do a reunion concert.

Just my standard kit for work and gym Mr B . Maybe The Village People can be persuaded to reform for Mr C's Dorset Poof Night

BEAST said...

INNER VOICES said...
how does the number four work? twenty year plus smoker wants to know...

I havn't tried it in anger yet Mr V , I am just carrying it around with me waiting for the urge to give up to strike

BEAST said...

MJ said...
That's not a manbag. That's just an ugly backpack.

*agrees with CyberPoof*
Its a propper practical MANBAG Miss MJ , fancy fashion items are of no use to the Beast

And it stinks.
It does not

Haven't you managed to quit smoking yet?
NO
I want to go to the rubber duck homo night.

Your banned for making rude comments about my bag

scarlet-blue said...

Sorry Beasty, but I am in agreement with MJ and Pete about the bag...
Perhaps you could get a vote going on it?
Sx

BEAST said...

scarlet-blue said...
Sorry Beasty, but I am in agreement with MJ and Pete about the bag...
Perhaps you could get a vote going on it?

My poor bag :-( , its functional and takes a lot of abuse . So I dont care what it looks like

inkspot said...

Come on, let's focus on Beasty's lovely wallet. Not only is it swollen and tumescent, it's curved from spending its time caressing his inner thigh. Or something.

I'm warming up for the Dorset poof night.

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
Come on, let's focus on Beasty's lovely wallet. Not only is it swollen and tumescent, it's curved from spending its time caressing his inner thigh. Or something.
dont encourage them Inky ,It will only start up a chorus of rude comments about the damn thing as well
I'm warming up for the Dorset poof night.

You and the Dorchester Lesbians
***hands Inky the bucket of Goose Grease***

Anonymous said...

FUCK THAT LETTS TALK ABOUT ME !! AND HOW IVE BEENPERSACUTED BY THOSE RUG MUNCHERS!!

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
FUCK THAT LETTS TALK ABOUT ME !! AND HOW IVE BEENPERSACUTED BY THOSE RUG MUNCHERS!!

Awww poor Mr C , have those nasty rough lesbians been harrassing you

scarlet-blue said...

Sorry Beast, it's a lovely bag...
Erm... have you got any of the sticky toffee pudding going on over here... I'm warming to the bag... very nice bag... pudding??
Sx

BEAST said...

****scrapes portion of sticky Toffee Pudding from Bag for Miss Scarlet ***

scarlet-blue said...

Squirty cream?
Sx

eroswings said...

I like the black and red bag combo. I usually stick to one color on backpacks, but this one has great form and function.

That's smart taking your own towel to the gym. And it shows you're a pro. I remember the towels they gave us at the gym once. They were like kitchen towel size! And I remember thinking, after showering, how the hell do we towel off with this small thing? Luckily, we got two a piece but still, it was strange. And they were rough!

Your outlets confused me. They look strange.

BEAST said...

At last , a gentleman that appreciates a propper MANBAG .
We have 3 pin plugs over here Mr E , do you have the two pin variety in Canada , and do you have an on off switch on yours ???
What an exciting electrical socket related turn this post has taken

BEAST said...

Doh! Sorry Mr E , your in the US not Canada , I shall post a picture of a uk electric Plug tonight so you can see what we shove in the socket.......wait for it this usually gets Miss MJ all excited

MJ said...

Could you show us the male/female plugs?

Or show us how to get a male plug into another male plug?

CyberPete said...

at any rate faded backpacks aren't pretty

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Could you show us the male/female plugs?
I dont think my readership is ready for a transgendered plug
Or show us how to get a male plug into another male plug?

Is that possible Miss MJ

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
at any rate faded backpacks aren't pretty

I would take functional over pretty anyday :-)

Frobisher said...

I agree its a horrid looking bag - still Beast does requent a COUNCIL-owned gym!

Where are the wet wipes & fluffy sweat band?

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
I agree its a horrid looking bag - still Beast does requent a COUNCIL-owned gym!

Where are the wet wipes & fluffy sweat band?
Dammit Frobisher , you have outed me , I can hear the sound of sophisticated Cocktail Party invitations being torn up
Yes its true I am a fully paid up member of the SOCIAL DEATH Club

FirstNations said...

I have to agree with Mr. C. Wheres the 'Locker Room'? Wheres the 'oilcan'? What kind of a gym do you go to? I thought they all played loud disco music and had big fans revolving slowly up in a wall somewhere with a big spotlight shining through it while all the greasy shiny man stretched and flexed on the greasy shiny machines and Alex Corsi strode around with a semi, doing curls, and then a guy wearing assless leather chaps hits a switch and all soapsuds come down out of the ceiling and they play 'Everybody Dance Now' and everybody dances?
I'd switch memberships if I were you. Your gym sounds BORING.

ps C: ONLY HALF LESLIE BEAN, LOVEY! but I always think of you!X

ps Ratso: lets you and I split this popsicle stand and grab a couple of Long Islands, baby boy. Hmph. No big fan, no Alex Corsi. please.

eroswings said...

Huh. The plugs look strange. We do have the two prongs plugs in North America. Though, the bigger appliances and extension cords have the third grounding prong.

Most people think Canada and the US are one; most likely because of our long, mostly unguarded border and a shared love of donuts, maple syrup, and deep fried foods.

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
I have to agree with Mr. C. Wheres the 'Locker Room'? Wheres the 'oilcan'? What kind of a gym do you go to? I thought they all played loud disco music and had big fans revolving slowly up in a wall somewhere with a big spotlight shining through it while all the greasy shiny man stretched and flexed on the greasy shiny machines and Alex Corsi strode around with a semi, doing curls, and then a guy wearing assless leather chaps hits a switch and all soapsuds come down out of the ceiling and they play 'Everybody Dance Now' and everybody dances?
I'd switch memberships if I were you. Your gym sounds BORING.

ps C: ONLY HALF LESLIE BEAN, LOVEY! but I always think of you!X

ps Ratso: lets you and I split this popsicle stand and grab a couple of Long Islands, baby boy. Hmph. No big fan, no Alex Corsi. please.
Miss FN if the Cafe C Franchise open a gym , thats exactly what it would be like
***wanders off humming Its raining Men**

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Huh. The plugs look strange. We do have the two prongs plugs in North America. Though, the bigger appliances and extension cords have the third grounding prong.

Most people think Canada and the US are one; most likely because of our long, mostly unguarded border and a shared love of donuts, maple syrup, and deep fried foods.
Mr E , I wasnt getting Canada and America confused per se , I was getting my blogging chums locations mixed up..... I mistook you for Miss MJ :-)

BEAST said...

Miss FN ithought a Half Lezza was a wrestling move like a Half Nelson..... obviously I was wrong AGAIN

scarlet-blue said...

Plugs and gyms???
Where is MJ??
Sx

BEAST said...

Fiddling with her sockets no doubt Miss Scarlet

Anonymous said...

all the fours forty four !

BEAST said...

Two fat Lezza's 88

Ms Smack said...

I love SMINTS!

They do not sell them here and I miss them.

:)

CyberPete said...

We could help you pick out a new, prettier and still *shudders* functional bag.

MJ said...

CyberPoof: It's kind of you to offer to help him select a stylish manbag but what Beast REALLY needs is a complete makeover.

BEAST said...

Ms Smack said...
I love SMINTS!

They do not sell them here and I miss them.

:)

Awww , thats terrible Miss Smack

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
We could help you pick out a new, prettier and still *shudders* functional bag.

No way , the bag stays till it falls to bits

BEAST said...

MJ said...
CyberPoof: It's kind of you to offer to help him select a stylish manbag but what Beast REALLY needs is a complete makeover.

No I dont ! , The Beast is the Beast . Like it or lump it

Inexplicable DeVice said...

That's a bag?!?

I thought it was the prop hump from The Hunchback of NotreDame.

Still, at least it's a talking point...

scarlet-blue said...

I'm pissed so I'm not going to comment.. I'm really, really not going to...
Sx

Can Bass 1 said...

Am I missing something?

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