The Beast is all excited.
At the end of last year my bike was nicked from outside the gym. Despite being chained up against the glass wall of the customer service office , with 5 customer service reps sat on their lazy asses staring at my bike not 4 feet away , someone still managed to waltz up , cut both locks with bolt cutters and waltz off with it.
Well now I have a new bike.
Its fanny* magnet black , sleek and shiny , Mr C bought me new (Barbie)mud catchers , so I will not be be splattered. Now the weather has calmed down a bit I will be climbing into my cycle shorts(there is nothing like the feeling of chamois leather polishing ya crown jewels as you pedal) and peddling into work.
By the summer I shall have thighs like polished marble
The Gaskers being out doors types are already planning some pub related country cycle rides. I do hope they dress appropriately this time , dangling parts and bicycle chains don't mix in my book.* That's a European front bottom type fanny not a US Arse type fanny
26 comments:
oh i so love marbled thighs!!!!
and i am first...yeah!
Daisy , you are indeed first. You wait , these thighs are gonna be good :-)
hahahah so hot!
laughed aloud at Fanny Magnet Bike.
May I sniff your bicycle seat?
Where's the room for a fanny when you're on the bike? Maybe you need a tandem where one of the seats vibrates when you peddle. Don't hog that seat yourself!
I take it you will be dispatching a warning to all local residents? I would hate to think of all the people that could suffer from 'beastbike syndrome' caused by you in your cycle shorts? May I suggest you supply a public notice thru the local council, boscombe pier group and through the local press?
Ms Smack said...
hahahah so hot!
laughed aloud at Fanny Magnet Bike
its so sexy Ms Smack , even MJ wants to sniff my saddle
MJ said...
May I sniff your bicycle seat?
****Big Sigh*** If you must Miss MJ
Gorilla Bananas said...
Where's the room for a fanny when you're on the bike? Maybe you need a tandem where one of the seats vibrates when you peddle. Don't hog that seat yourself!
Mr Bananas sounds a dangerous idea the Beast is always concious of road saftey and secondly my prostate is NOT a space hopper ,and would not appreciate being pummeled like a tenderised steak
Newforestandy said...
I take it you will be dispatching a warning to all local residents? I would hate to think of all the people that could suffer from 'beastbike syndrome' caused by you in your cycle shorts? May I suggest you supply a public notice thru the local council, boscombe pier group and through the local press?
I look like a set of bagpipes in my cycle shorts Mr NFA :-(
barbie mud flaps? hahahaha! he should have sprung for the spongebob ones. they're so much more macho man for your fanny bike than barbie.
speaking of dangly parts, i'm guessing you've had an accident during which your dangly parts had an accident?
I would loved to have seen a penny farthing sail past, especially wiht asuit and hat on.
Can you image what they would have thought seeing lycra cycle shorts in their day?
Pink Drama said...
barbie mud flaps? hahahaha! he should have sprung for the spongebob ones. they're so much more macho man for your fanny bike than barbie.
speaking of dangly parts, i'm guessing you've had an accident during which your dangly parts had an accident?
Pinky , no chance , I just have an active imagination. There are some things that are just wrong . Nekkid bike riding is one of them . Have you ever seen those documentaries they occasionaly do about naturist resorts , another thing that just wrong on so many levels is nekkid shopping(where do you keep your wallet ???? )
UBERMOUTH said...
I would loved to have seen a penny farthing sail past, especially wiht asuit and hat on.
Can you image what they would have thought seeing lycra cycle shorts in their day?
Lycra looks good on very few people.....I am not one of them . An overstuffed Bratwurst is not an attractive look
*get bolt croppers out in anticipation*
1. Mu Tai!!!!!
2. you know that pair of handcuffs you have dangling from the rear view mirror of your car? use those as a bicycle lock! i mean, they're just decoration, right?
you never use them for anything other than decoration, right?
right?
Frobisher said...
*get bolt croppers out in anticipation*
I knew the mention of Barbie accesories would get you going Mr Frobisher
Mu Tai Dong said...
Too fat and fatter than fat for cycles!!!!!
Its ok Miss Mu the re enforced lycra holds it all in
FirstNations said...
1. Mu Tai!!!!!
Yes she is back
2. you know that pair of handcuffs you have dangling from the rear view mirror of your car? use those as a bicycle lock! i mean, they're just decoration, right?
you never use them for anything other than decoration, right?
right?
Them aint handcuffs , thems stirrups......go figure
Someone ring for a lazy trollop?
Tickers cycling experience.
Think I'll cycle to the shops.
Oh, the tyres are soft.
Where's the pump?.
*rumages around for longer than it would take to cycle to the shops*
Fuck it, I'll take the car.
UBERMOUTH said...
Someone ring for a lazy trollop?
Hurrah , Uber has cast off her enniu and posted , I shall read when I finish me chores :-)
Tickersoid said...
Tickers cycling experience.
Think I'll cycle to the shops.
Oh, the tyres are soft.
Where's the pump?.
*rumages around for longer than it would take to cycle to the shops*
Fuck it, I'll take the car.
I knowthe feeling Mr Ticks, someone who shall remain nameless has pinched me foot pump Grrrrrrrrr
What chores might those be?
as long as you stay off Chuckanut Drive you can cycle where the whim takes you. FULLY CLOTHED. wearing handcuffs. with your dyson.
Nude cycling, no no no! Skid marks on the leather cycle seats, can't be having with that - especially as they're suede, its a swine to brush nuggets out of.
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