Monday, 10 March 2008

March Winds

As you can imagine , The Beast is no stranger to bad wind.
But what a night. As Beast snuggled up under his Transformers Duvet , a howling maelstrom battered the Beast's Liar.
I awoke to 5 wheeley bins and someones fence in my front garden , and one of my double back gates has gone awol.

Wind being the theme of the day , Mrs Gaskers starts her cabbage soup diet this morning .As Mrs G sits directly behind , poor Beasty will be basking in the warm gusts tinged with a delicate hint of bowel.Formidable as the ghastly french would have it.

I cant post pictures to blogger at present so you will just have to taken as read the hilarious pictures I had lined up for this post

30 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

It is a portent, O Beast! A wrathful deity is about to punish the sins of humankind. Confess all and repent before it is too late!

Daisy said...

we had some horrendous winds on friday night...i could hear the gutters ripping...thankfully i am renting this place at the moment and have no clean up...:)

mutleythedog said...

Its a trifle windy here as well -as I live on the seafront I am also wondering if I might wash away... blogger has been a bit odd recently hasn't it?

Newforestandy said...

We get plenty of wind here in the forest, especially after all the healthy food we eat, am not sure we make enough to blow the gates off. Are you sure you havent been eating too many baked beans, Mon sewer Beast? I wish Mrs Gaskers well with her diet! Am sure she will lose a big part of here waistline, (once she emits all the hot gases)

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
It is a portent, O Beast! A wrathful deity is about to punish the sins of humankind. Confess all and repent before it is too late!
Mr B, living a blameless excistance as I do , I have nothing to confess or repent , its come to get the rest of them

BEAST said...

Daisy said...
we had some horrendous winds on friday night...i could hear the gutters ripping...thankfully i am renting this place at the moment and have no clean up...:)
Rich food and loose living will contribute to horrendous wind Miss Daisy , try abstinence and a flouncy skirt , I am sure no one will notice

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
Its a trifle windy here as well -as I live on the seafront I am also wondering if I might wash away... blogger has been a bit odd recently hasn't it?

Oh dear Mr M , I hope you have your Miss Smack inflatable dolly to hand , for added bouyancy if things go wrong

BEAST said...

Newforestandy said...
We get plenty of wind here in the forest, especially after all the healthy food we eat, am not sure we make enough to blow the gates off. Are you sure you havent been eating too many baked beans, Mon sewer Beast? I wish Mrs Gaskers well with her diet! Am sure she will lose a big part of here waistline, (once she emits all the hot gases)
Mr Andy , it takes concentration and practice to be able to blow the gates off (and plenty of fibre) , I am sure MrsG will be sylph like in no time at all

Hammer said...

I find that a cabbage dinner mixed with several guinness ice cream floats can create enough wind to knock down fences.

MJ said...

I'll wait for the pics and I hope they include the Transformers duvet and matching wallpaper.

As well as your SpongeBob underpants.

Beast at work said...

Hammer said...
I find that a cabbage dinner mixed with several guinness ice cream floats can create enough wind to knock down fences.

The human digestive tratc is a marvellous thing Mr H , and one suspects , if harnessed a remarkable source of renewable energy

Beast at work said...

MJ said...
I'll wait for the pics and I hope they include the Transformers duvet and matching wallpaper.

As well as your SpongeBob underpants.

Miss MJ , I made up the Transformers Duvet.....you know its black silk really

Mu Tai Dong said...

If you wants the wind you know I have the'special recipes' likes kinjda seacakes, stuffed backward part of pork in cabbage, suet edible thing dumples, blacks, greenwich style pie of offal, all started Duck udders of animal, many more like thate?? You have incredible winds like space shuttle launching..

Tickersoid said...

At Tickers Towers, the patio furniture has fallen off the cliff again.

Anonymous said...

giggles... at the thort of some one passing wind.. he he he he..

Inexplicable DeVice said...

These high winds certainly are disconcerting. One has to keep an eye on the sky for falling farmhouses...

Beast at work said...

Mu Tai Dong said...
If you wants the wind you know I have the'special recipes' likes kinjda seacakes, stuffed backward part of pork in cabbage, suet edible thing dumples, blacks, greenwich style pie of offal, all started Duck udders of animal, many more like thate?? You have incredible winds like space shuttle launching..
Hurrah its Miss Mu , I like the sound of suet edible thing dumples and the greenwich offal pie..... do you find breaking wind sexy Miss Mu ???

Beast at work said...

Tickersoid said...
At Tickers Towers, the patio furniture has fallen off the cliff again.


Is this a recurring problem Mr Ticks , maybe a railing of some sort would be in order , or I should imagine BBQ's have that added frisson of fear

beast at work said...

Anonymous said...
giggles... at the thort of some one passing wind.. he he he he..
Your so childish Mr C , its not funny and its not clever....and I wont pull your finger

Beast at work said...

Inexplicable DeVice said...
These high winds certainly are disconcerting. One has to keep an eye on the sky for falling farmhouses...
As I am sure all good friends of Dorothy should

FirstNations said...

tick, come get your damn lawn furniture out of my raised beds.

The Hitch said...

Ai yah Mr Beast
I thought that you had the flatulence and weight under control.
Wind is something I know a lot about, thankfuly after being forbiden to drink beer by S.W.M.B.O
"I now have control"

BEAST said...

FirstNations said...
tick, come get your damn lawn furniture out of my raised beds.
Thats not Ticks furniture , that was my art installation , it was a wry comment on the atste of the cheese industry in guatemala.....your all philistines
****flounces out****

BEAST said...

The Hitch said...
Ai yah Mr Beast
I thought that you had the flatulence and weight under control.
Wind is something I know a lot about, thankfuly after being forbiden to drink beer by S.W.M.B.O
"I now have control"

Why do girls do that ???
Dont they realise they are more attractive after a few beers ?

Donn said...

Who's reekin' out from under a stairway
Passing a gas that's killing the air
Who's bending down to give me a death blow
Everyone knows it's Windy.

Who's rippin' down the streets of the city
Tooting at everybody she sees
Who's reaching out to ruin a moment
Everyone knows it's Windy.

Mrs G's on a cab-bage diet
Don't let her read by candle light
She has enough gas to fly
Above the clouds (above the clouds)

My apologies to the ASS-FIX-iation for ruining their song

MJ said...

Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the WIND beneath my wings.

Beast at work said...

Donn , thank you for the song , I bet this starts MJ off

MJ. I have always thought the lyrics to that song to be a bit dubious.

mutleythedog said...

"your pathway lies upon the whispering wind" - thats a fart reference right there in Stairway to Heaven Led Zeppelins eponymous masterpiece....

Beast at work said...

everyone loves a fart gag Mr M , even the ledgendary Zeps.
did you make up that word epony mouse , I asked my friend Miss Jade Goody and she said 'I fink he made that up '

mutleythedog said...

I read it in a book once and made it my word of the day... but it has stuck for 11 years!

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