Monday 27 July 2009

BEAST'S DIARY

Dear Dairy , another week gone by and what a week it has been .
Thursday :
Arrive at Cafe C for evening shift clutching 2 enormous flower arrangements
Expects hero's welcome
Get sacked for breathing and stuff......its a fair cop!
Trudges off home
Eats cake

Friday :
Get mysteriously re instated(by email).
Put cake away(reluctantly)
Cancel exotic dancers and take away pizza
Prepare for work


Saturday :
Cafe C bright and early for the BBC Radio Solent launch
Wall to wall loud obnoxious media types
Mien Host Mr C dashing around 'networking' , James true to his cabin crew roots, gliding about with a tray of foaming cappuccino's and steaming croissants , deftly pointing out emergency exits and emergency procedures in the event of Mr C having some sort of 'being awake before 11.30' incident .
Open for lunch as normal and getting ready for Cabaret Nite .

19.oo Caberet Nite hosted by Wilma Fingadoo .
Mr C scoured the variety circuit , searching for an act that fit perfectly with the raison d'etre of Cafe C
Miss Fingadoo describes herself as
" A total whore from Hounslow Heath , loves a packet of silk cut and a vodka and coke....
A cartwheeling drunk drag queen , vile , quick witted and so far past the PC line I
I cant even see it "

Sympatico ! Miss Fingadoo could almost be quoting from the Cafe C , staff hand book mission statement. the gig was hers , and marvellous she was too!





The shy and retiring Miss Fingadoo













Sunday :
The event we were all dreading .A surprise birthday party for 50 - 60 people with luxury buffet.
We started the day with James having a nervous breakdown trying to prepare the restaurant.
Beast having an attack of the vapours in the kitchen preparing the buffet
Mr C farting , belching and scratching under his duvet upstairs and refusing point blank to get up.

Frobisher , preferring to stand aloof from the common kitchen drudges , was pottering in Frobishers Country Kitchen(in quilted nylon house coat and curlers no doubt) producing what he boastfully assured me would be the crowning glory of the buffet.
In the event Frobisher swept into the building with minutes to spare , proudly clutching a very decent red pepper humus


and a truly despicable brown rice salad
<---- it looked like this
I am all for a bit of culinary experimentation , but we all know that Dr Frankensteins 'messing about in the kitchen' ended in the locals getting a bit over excited with pitchforks and burning torches




Altho It certainly made an impact on the buffet , the Rice Salad had to be banished to the boot of Frobishers car before a riot ensued.
It goes without saying that my classic tomato salad with oregano , potato salad with chives , and cucumber salad with yoghurt and mint were run away successes(don't believe Bitter Frobisher if he says any different).







All in all , we hosted a stonking weekend of events that was thoroughly enjoyed by the guests.
Its fantastic working with a team that can really pull it all together(James , Frobi , and the restaurant and kitchen bitches). Its relentless punishing work , particularly for Mr C ,who creates the vision and then has to conjure it into a reality , day after day, and despite all the stress related bickering and fireworks.....the show must go on sweethearts !
And I bloody love it(Mostly) :-)

32 comments:

Ms Scarlet said...

Big pictures!!!!
I will wisely give the rice salad a miss - no offence Mr Frobi.
Sx

eroswings said...

Sounds like quite the weekend! That's quite an excellent reflection on the staff! They can make or break a restaurant. People always remember the service and the food. If they had a great time, they'll be back and they'll tell all their friends about it.

I luv potato salad! It's the best salad in the world!

The Mistress said...

Ooooo, yes Miss Scarlet.

Our little boy is a big boy now with BIG PICTURES!!!

Did someone mention cake?

CyberPete said...

That sure was a dear diary moment.

I'm a little queasy now.

KAZ said...

That rice salad needs some garnish. Do I have to tell you everything?
And why no chick pea curry - I trust Ma Beastie is well.

xerxes said...

First let me summarize Sexy's comment for you Beast: "You are a veritable sex god here in the Central Kingdom. Young people of all genders and orientations prostrate themselves before your blog, hoping that they will be your chosen bedmate [or bedmates, the difference between singular and plural is a bit tricky in Mandarin]. Please let us know your pleasure so that the lucky ones may buy their tickets to Bournemouth."

Or something like that.

But what I really wanted to ask was, how do you fit your cowboy coding into this bustling life? I'm most impressed, however you do it.

BEAST said...

Scarlet-Blue said...
Big pictures!!!!
I will wisely give the rice salad a miss - no offence Mr Frobi.
It was brown rie Miss Scarlet , so probably feindishly good for you. I shall mail you a portion . You were right about copying the full sized picture rathr than the thumbnail , you clever thing

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Sounds like quite the weekend! That's quite an excellent reflection on the staff! They can make or break a restaurant. People always remember the service and the food. If they had a great time, they'll be back and they'll tell all their friends about it.
Indeed it was . I am now officially knackered

I luv potato salad! It's the best salad in the world!
Me too , food of the gods

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Ooooo, yes Miss Scarlet.

Our little boy is a big boy now with BIG PICTURES!!!
***Struts and preens***

Did someone mention cake?
No

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
That sure was a dear diary moment.

I'm a little queasy now.
Thats what comes of watching Madge gyrating for two hours

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
That rice salad needs some garnish. Do I have to tell you everything? What could you possibly garnish this with Miss Kaz , A wisp of toilet tissue prehaps ???

And why no chick pea curry - I trust Ma Beastie is well.
Ma Beastie is fine , however her chick pea curry is outlawed in most southen counties

BEAST said...

sexy said...
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Sexy ,I bet you say that to all the boys , you saucy minx

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
First let me summarize Sexy's comment for you Beast: "You are a veritable sex god here in the Central Kingdom. Young people of all genders and orientations prostrate themselves before your blog, hoping that they will be your chosen bedmate [or bedmates, the difference between singular and plural is a bit tricky in Mandarin]. Please let us know your pleasure so that the lucky ones may buy their tickets to Bournemouth."

Or something like that.
Alternatively Beast offers a 'take away delivery service' coming to a bus shelter near you soon'

But what I really wanted to ask was, how do you fit your cowboy coding into this bustling life? I'm most impressed, however you do it.
The short answer is working 3 x 8 hour days and 3 x 16 hour days some weeks if I am lucky I get a day off.It keeps me out of mischief Inky

Frobisher said...

Oh! ha ha

There was nothing wrong with the brown rice salad (im still eating it now). The only slight hitch was the Soy Sauce dressing, I ran out of light soy sauce so had to to use a dark soy which I found at the back of the cupboard. Unfortunately, this had the effect of dyeing everything in the salad a v. dark brown, but didn't spoil the taste one bit.

The reason it was removed from the buffet was because it contained peanuts, and someone with a nut allergy could have died.

Ms Scarlet said...

Well you see, Mr Frobi, food preparation is also about aesthetics.
I know how to make a fish finger fan.
Sx

The Mistress said...

Copying the thumbnails...

*sniggers*

CyberPete said...

More true words have never been uttered

Leah said...

I am thinking longingly of cake and potato salad, but all I've got in the fridge is the tale end of a jar of borscht. Honestly, life can be so cruel sometimes.

Leah said...

I meant "tail end." I'm spelling phonetically now. This is what happens when one allows one's self to become too distracted by cake and potato salad.

BEAST said...

Frobisher said...
Oh! ha ha

There was nothing wrong with the brown rice salad (im still eating it now). The only slight hitch was the Soy Sauce dressing, I ran out of light soy sauce so had to to use a dark soy which I found at the back of the cupboard. Unfortunately, this had the effect of dyeing everything in the salad a v. dark brown, but didn't spoil the taste one bit.

The reason it was removed from the buffet was because it contained peanuts, and someone with a nut allergy could have died.

After eating 50 portions of brown rice , you will be very healthy ....and regular :-)

BEAST said...

Scarlet-Blue said...
Well you see, Mr Frobi, food preparation is also about aesthetics.
I know how to make a fish finger fan.

I am sure your fish finger fan is the talk of the north kent dinner party circuit Miss Scarlet.... do you drizzle and shave ???

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Copying the thumbnails...

*sniggers*

You may mock Miss MJ !

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
More true words have never been uttered

Thats a very inscrutable comment Pete , have you come over all unecesary at the thought of Miss Scarlets fishy fan

BEAST said...

Leah said...
I am thinking longingly of cake and potato salad, but all I've got in the fridge is the tale end of a jar of borscht. Honestly, life can be so cruel sometimes.

I meant "tail end." I'm spelling phonetically now. This is what happens when one allows one's self to become too distracted by cake and potato salad.
Miss MJ's cake can be an acquired taste especially if she has been helping Mr Frobisher polish off the 50 portions of brown rice salad

CyberPete said...

I'm...I'm......I'm....

Shocked

The Old Tarf said...

I still listen to Radio Solent most days when we are in town.

The cake looked a little like a cow patty. Hope you do not need glasses? Over here they would have bet on it. Put a cow in a arena or fenced in area , mark off the area with squares ( not the kind you eat) and bet where the cow patty will fall.

Romeo Morningwood said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant insider's report on the highly secretive goings-on that most of us loud obnoxious proletarian types take for granted.

Gadzooks Man! Talk about your unpredictable twists and turns. Two beautiful flower arrangements you say..TWO!?

*scratches head and wanders off

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
I'm...I'm......I'm....

Shocked
As well you should be

BEAST said...

The Old Tarf said...
I still listen to Radio Solent most days when we are in town.

The cake looked a little like a cow patty. Hope you do not need glasses? Over here they would have bet on it. Put a cow in a arena or fenced in area , mark off the area with squares ( not the kind you eat) and bet where the cow patty will fall.
Good to see you old tarf , We could have tried that game with Mr Frobishers rice salad , it would have given th party guests something to do

BEAST said...

Donn said...
HAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant insider's report on the highly secretive goings-on that most of us loud obnoxious proletarian types take for granted.

Gadzooks Man! Talk about your unpredictable twists and turns. Two beautiful flower arrangements you say..TWO!?

*scratches head and wanders off
Oh yes , two flower arrangements , one for the window and one for the bar , I nearly got a frigging hernia getting them out of the car :-(

The Mistress said...

You smell of wee.

Even Miss Scarlet has noticed.

BEAST said...

MJ said...
You smell of wee.

Even Miss Scarlet has noticed.
Up Yours Miss Pissypants

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