Thursday, 9 July 2009

THE GRAPES OF WRATH

Picture the scene :
Our harrassed hero The Beast wrestling with a dou of moules and frites , three jacket potato with bries bacon and grapes , goats cheese and med veg and cheese ham and mushrooms , 2 wraps with chicken cheese and bacon , 1 enthusiastic kitchen assistant and a strutting and bumbling trainee chef....
Into the melee rushes an enraged Mr C with all the grace and finesse of a rotweiler with burning piles.....


Yeah no shit !
Exit Beast stage left with scathing comments nipping at his ass like the lobsters of doom.
Next year I spend my vacation on the friggin beach !

32 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Isn't it the time of year for a barbecue, Beast? Instead of slaving away in a kitchen, why don't you hire a boy to sizzle the food over hot coals while you relax in a deck chair?

Anonymous said...

its my way or the fucking high way!! i dont serve burnt chips! and i dont serve dryed moules!! 3 tickets and you have break down get a grip! and there was 3 of you!!! get a last min deal...

eroswings said...

Yes, the heat on the beach from the sun is much preferable to the heat from a stove for a vacation.

Try a cruise! I've seen some great last minute deals out of London (Dover). Or enjoy a day of bbq and drinks at the house.

How about serving the national UK dish? Fish and chips! I'm sure they'd sell out! The locals and tourists luv those!

CyberPete said...

Sounds like a plan!

How anyone would ever consider eating moules is beyond my understanding. Appalling!

inkspot said...

Beast, what tune did you have in mind for that? The 10 days of Christmas doesn't work.

Chef Gordon Ramsey said...

What's a F*cking matter with you pussies! GET A GRIP - Jesus F*cking Christ - I feel like banging heads together! Get back in that F*cking Kitchen and sort your shit out! NOW!

(btw Mykonos is great this time of year)

KAZ said...

On the beach?
I'll remind you when the time comes.

BEAST said...

Gorilla Bananas said...
Isn't it the time of year for a barbecue, Beast? Instead of slaving away in a kitchen, why don't you hire a boy to sizzle the food over hot coals while you relax in a deck chair?
The only thing that gets sizled over hot coals Mr B is me

BEAST said...

Anonymous said...
its my way or the fucking high way!! i dont serve burnt chips! and i dont serve dryed moules!! 3 tickets and you have break down get a grip! and there was 3 of you!!! get a last min deal...
Pffffffffffft

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
Yes, the heat on the beach from the sun is much preferable to the heat from a stove for a vacation.

Try a cruise! I've seen some great last minute deals out of London (Dover). Or enjoy a day of bbq and drinks at the house.
I dont fancy a cruise at all Mr E , being trapped in a floating tin can with the ghastly general public . I want to go windsurfing or sailing yippeeeeeeee

How about serving the national UK dish? Fish and chips! I'm sure they'd sell out! The locals and tourists luv those!
If you in the UK Mr E , get your Fish and Chips from a Fish and Chip shop , wrapped in paper , there is nothing like it , horrible stuff to cook and prepare tho , you smell of fish and chip fat forever , it gets in your pores

BEAST said...

CyberPete said...
Sounds like a plan!

How anyone would ever consider eating moules is beyond my understanding. Appalling!
Moules cooked in white wine cream , onion and garlic, served with fries and crusty bead to mop up the sauce are sublime Pete , one of the classic dishes ....yum

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
Beast, what tune did you have in mind for that? The 10 days of Christmas doesn't work.
I was thinking more of reciting the peice in a Byronic mein Inky , rather than appealling to the 'music hall' mentality

BEAST said...

Chef Gordon Ramsey said...
What's a F*cking matter with you pussies! GET A GRIP - Jesus F*cking Christ - I feel like banging heads together! Get back in that F*cking Kitchen and sort your shit out! NOW!

(btw Mykonos is great this time of year)
Bugger off and go sort out your failing restaurants before another one goes bust

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
On the beach?
I'll remind you when the time comes.
Yes it would be nice , I have a yearning to make a sandcastle and get molested by a jelly fish

MJ said...

I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHERED COMING 'ROUND HERE WHEN YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TELLING ME WHY I SHOULD COME 'ROUND HERE.

If you had bothered to read my blog, you would understand.

*farts and exits*

BEAST said...

MJ said...
I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHERED COMING 'ROUND HERE WHEN YOU COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TELLING ME WHY I SHOULD COME 'ROUND HERE.

If you had bothered to read my blog, you would understand.

*farts and exits*
***sprays Febreze***
Well I havnt been home have I
Some of us have to work you know

Scarlet-Blue said...

Next year I spend my vacation on the friggin beach !

That's what you said last year!!!
Sx

MJ said...

PFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Scarlet-Blue said...

Yes, pfffffffffffffttttttttt...
Mr Beastie hasn't even noticed I've been away. *Flounces out in huff of scarlet*
Sx

MJ said...

Where are you?

Miss Scarlet and I have come 'round to give you a wedgie.

BEAST said...

Miss MJ , I have been working long hours and had a lot to catch up with when I have any time off - keeps me out of mischief I suppose .
Miss scarlet , pfffft , you better have bought me back some rock and an amusing cornish piscey sitting on a mushroom or something

Scarlet-Blue said...

MJ, I think this may take all our strength... and I might have to stand on a stool... [A KITCHEN STOOL]
Sx

Scarlet-Blue said...

Oh... and Mr Frobisher has posted.
Sx

MJ said...

Hold him down, Miss Scarlet, whilst I grab hold of his underoos.

BEAST said...

I am not waering any

MJ said...

GAH!!!

*soaks hands in bleach*

Scarlet-Blue said...

Oh my God! *snaps on surgical gloves*
Sx

MJ said...

I feel dirty, Miss Scarlet.

I fear I am tainted for life.

Scarlet-Blue said...

I don't know what to say... perhaps you only grappled with his banana?
Sx

MJ said...

There ARE no words to describe it, Miss Scarlet.

Don't suggest, even in fun, that I got anywhere near his bruised banana.

KAZ said...

Beast - are you just going to lie back and take all this sexual molestation and humiliation from these two nubile young women?
Oh yes - of course you are. You're a bloke aren't you?

Scarlet-Blue said...

I think he's exhausted, Kaz.
Sx

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