Monday, 4 May 2009

CAFE C ON TOUR


Sunday Morning at the crack of dawn I had to meet the other members of the Cafe C Glitterati (Minus Frobisher who delivered a magnificent snub) at the Rownhams Motorway services(Oh the Glamour) , for our day trip to Chessington world of adventures .
Mr C , never a morning person was wrapped up in his hoody and big Joan Collins Sunglasses , lounging and groaning in the front passenger seat , being hand fed sips of coffee and pringles by his two attendant hand maidens Midge and Samantha.
James behind the wheel was rolling his eyes and looking stoically pained at all this drama .
Eventually we arrived at Chessington World of Adventures and scuttled towards the entrance clutching the site map . As it turned out we needn't have worried Mr C had painstakingly planned out our progress round the park not by the rides but by meal concessions.
It has long been said an army marches on its stomach , so it appears does Cafe C .

Our itinerary went thus
Dragons Fury
Vampire
Bacon Double Cheese Burger Meal



Doctor Farts Bubble Works (Or whatever its called)
Where we got told off over the tanoy system mid ride as Mr C was over excited from all the E numbers in his burger and behaving childishly.
The swinging boat thing
Fish and chips




Dragon falls
Billy the Wizz chairoplane
Runaway train
Rollercoastery thing on a rickety track that I think was called the rattlesnake
Hot dog








Dragons Fury Again
Dragons Falls Again
Vampire again
Donut and Coffee
Zoo
Reptiles
Oceanarium
Sea lions
Unlimited coke
Park closed ....we got thrown out.

It was a marvellous day and we all really enjoyed ourselves .
My day was rounded off when Mr C broke wind very loudly in the motorway service cafe . Some poor old pensioner who was sitting two tables away and had obviously saved her meagre pension for three months to enjoy a hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows , was so shocked she chocked on a marshmallow and blew the whipped cream up the window. I was so embarrassed it obviously looked like it was me , only confirmed when Mr C imperiously glared at me and said HOW DISGUSTING and swept out.
***A sobbing Beast creeps off into the gathering dark***

23 comments:

Scarlet-Blue said...

Did any of the food make a return appearance on the rides??
Sx

BEAST said...

Miss Scarlet , it was touch and go on the swingy Galleon thing , that always makes me feel really sick

MJ said...

Chessington world of adventures?

Was Walnut World closed for the day?

MJ said...

I, for one, am sick of being snubbed by Mr. Frobisher.

He could at least pop 'round to Infomaniac today to wish Ms. Nations a happy birthday.

eroswings said...

And with a huff and puff, he was gone with the Wind!

Next time, answer Mr C's accusation with a "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!"

KAZ said...

After reading the itinerary I am starting to empathise with Mr Frobisher.
And to think that you're the person who taught us how to make the perfect cucumber sandwich...
..or was it smoked salmon?

BEAST said...

MJ said...
Chessington world of adventures?

Was Walnut World closed for the day?

Obviously the fabled Walnut World would have been even more exciting , but Chessington was the chosen destination ,,we had a great time altho it was obviously lacking in walnut related thrills

BEAST said...

MJ said...
I, for one, am sick of being snubbed by Mr. Frobisher.

He could at least pop 'round to Infomaniac today to wish Ms. Nations a happy birthday.

Frobisher moves in mysterious ways Miss MJ , ours is not to reason why

BEAST said...

eroswings said...
And with a huff and puff, he was gone with the Wind!
Indeed , I bet Scarlet O'hara didnt have to put up with this sort of behaviour Next time, answer Mr C's accusation with a "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!"
I was too busy hyperventilating with embarrasment and rightious indignation Mr E

BEAST said...

KAZ said...
After reading the itinerary I am starting to empathise with Mr Frobisher.
And to think that you're the person who taught us how to make the perfect cucumber sandwich...
..or was it smoked salmon?

The perfect cucumber sandwich has its place Miss Kaz maybe Mr Frobisher was nibbling on one in more genteel surroundings , while we were having a rollicking chavtastic good time :-)

inkspot said...

Er, Beast, how does the food at Cafe C compare with that at Cafe Chessington? Be detailed, the details of your gastro-excursion have shaken my confidence.

BEAST said...

inkspot said...
Er, Beast, how does the food at Cafe C compare with that at Cafe Chessington? Be detailed, the details of your gastro-excursion have shaken my confidence.
What Ho Inky , we had ourselves a junk food extravaganza , which is a welcome juxta position from the epicurious delights of Cafe C.
One occasionally needs to 'walk on the wild side' to appreciate the finer things in life
Go on treat yourself to a pot noodle or a noisome kebab , you wont regret it

inkspot said...

I'm not sure Beast. Coastal poker takes place behind a kebab shop that advertises a 12 inch doner for £3.99; it looks like horse cock.

BEAST said...

Blimey Inky a 12 inch kebab for £3.99 thats a bargain.I havnt had a kebab for years , I think I will now

MJ said...

Would you be so kind as to contact Mr. Frobisher and ask him if he...

A) Intends to post again this year.

B) Intends to visit our blogs once in a blue moon.

Thank you.

I have nothing further to add.

BEAST said...

I certainly shall not , leave the blighter till he comes to his senses

mutleythedog said...

I find those rides all make me puke...

Scarlet-Blue said...

Whatever happened good old fashioned swings and slides?
There was much joy to be had from sliding and swinging followed by a sherbet fountain and a suck on a liquorice stick.
Sx

Scarlet-Blue said...

Apologies, that should have been a suck on a liguorice stick followed by a sherbet fountain. Obviously.
Sx

mutleythedog said...

I have no idea id thats a weird innuendo or is S has been sucking liguorice

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
I find those rides all make me puke
You are suffering from FrayBentos projectile Vomiting Syndrome Mr M , I would advise upping your dosage of pies to at least 5 a day to supply more balast

BEAST said...

Scarlet-Blue said...
Whatever happened good old fashioned swings and slides?
There was much joy to be had from sliding and swinging followed by a sherbet fountain and a suck on a liquorice stick.

Apologies, that should have been a suck on a liguorice stick followed by a sherbet fountain. Obviously.

You cant beat the thrill of a pogo stick or a space hopper Miss Scarlet

BEAST said...

mutleythedog said...
I have no idea id thats a weird innuendo or is S has been sucking liguorice

I fear Miss Scarlet is adrift on a sea of nostalgia Mr M . ietehr that or she has been at the gin AGAIN

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