Wednesday, 18 July 2012

OLD DOGS NEW TRICKS

What has been happening in the World of Beast ? well settle down dear reader and I will tell you .

Obviously with Weymouth  a mere 8 miles from Dorchester being the venue for the  sailing events , Olympic fever has the whole area in its grip . We have endured 2 years of traffic chaos while they dig up every damn road for miles around . We have  a rubbish Olympic laser show on the seafront , more palm trees than you can shake a stick at and a multitude of international flags festooned across the entire area .
Finally after all this fuss and nonsense the Olympic Torch arrived in Weymouth on its way to the opening ceremony at the London Olympic Stadium   in a couple of weeks time.
On the evening the torch was due to rest in Weymouth overnight , Mr C was invited as guest of honour to the opening party for a new local hostelry. The champagne was flowing and Mr C remembers nothing from 10 pm till he woke up in his bed at 5 pm the next evening. With blinding hangover and  trembling hands he opened his Facebook page to be confronted with  this 

WHAT WE KNOW
a.from the timing on the picture it was 5 am.
b. Mr C was completely wankered.
c. from the background it is Weymouth Beach.
WHAT WE DO NOT KNOW
a.how a drunken Mr C  got to Weymouth and back again
b. got hold of the Torch.
c.How the organisers got it back (Which they must have done as it arrived in Bournemouth the following evening....or was it a spare ???)

Answers to any of these mysteries on a postcard please.
Mr C will be keeping a legendary low profile for fear of ending up in the Tower .


Moving swiftly on
Frobisher has finally killed off his Alter Ego Mavis Boyle and has restyled himself as a Gentleman Disc Jockey for Cafe C's celebrated Saturday Nights.
Frobishers evenings generally commence with a well mannered  easy listening fest , the lighting is muted , the smoke machine is allowed a mere wisp.Frobisher is known to demand anyone having too much fun to be removed from the building and flogged by the burly doorstaff as an example to Broken Britain

This sedated scenario seldom lasts long as Mr C and his magic shot bottle get the better of our mannered master mixer . By midnight the cable knit cardie is hanging off the disco ball , the lasers are sizzling , the smoke is as thick as  pea soup ,  a howling Frobisher is gyrating behind the decks grinding out what I believe the youth of today call "banging tunes"
By 4 am   as Mr C finally is forced to switch the power off , the doormen are instructed to drag  a ruined Frobisher upstairs and dump him on his bed of shame



It is said that one should never look a gift horse in the mouth but they forgot to mention to keep your eyes on Mr C waving a bottle.......it always ends in wayward behaviour , partial nudity , bad language and  a crippling hangover ...... just ask poor Miss Scarlet.

And what of Miss Scarlet I hear you ask . Rumours abound that she has been spotted dancing a wild fandango in the flesh pots of Budlieh Salterton


She denies it of course . ..but then one would wouldn't one!
but it has to be said that it looks suspiciously like Miss MJ and the infomaniac dancers making free with the net curtains in the background of this photo.
I will leave you dear reader to marshall the available facts and cast your vote where you will
TTFN ;-)

9 comments:

Scarlet Blue said...

OLD DOG??? How dare you, Mr Beastie.
And what is Mr C doing with my Cornetto?
***returns to looking demure and mysterious in a waterproof cape at the end of the Cobb***
Sx

BEAST said...

Ha Ha you caught me mid edit Miss Scarlet , your discraceful shenanigans have just moved to Budliegh Salterton thus making your cobb lurking a ghastly geographical mistake ;-)

Scarlet Blue said...

Good heavens! What the hell can I say about Budleigh Salterton? What is it famous for???
***returns to looking demure and mysterious whilst wearing a brightly painted beach hut*** doesn't quite have the same impetus.
Sx

FirstNations said...

Buddleia Satupon is where 'The Ten Commandments' was filmed, Ms. Scarletto. I played John the Baptist in the scene where all the bluebirds made a dress for Cinderella and then the mean cat ruins it all. Yeah! That was me!

Scarlet Blue said...

Okay...

***returns to looking demure and mysterious in a shredded feathered dress whilst fighting with a tiger***

I could work this.

Sx

BEAST said...

Wheres that old bag MJ . Is she still cavorting with them French Canadians ???

MJ said...

I've had to Google both Budleigh Salterton AND cobb.

Why doesn't this blog come with a built-in dictionary?

BEAST said...

Sorry Miss MJ . Budliehg Salterton is a rather gentile seaside resort on the Dorset Jurassic Coast . I originally placed Miss Scarlets antics in the alto gether racier Lyme Regis(average age 60 rather than 90) . Made famous by The French Leutenants Woman , were Meryl Streep lurked on the Cob (Harbour wall) looking all demure and mysterious as the waves crashed around her , hence Miss Scarlets comment , sadly I moved the action , rendering the hapless Miss Scarlets musings somewhat geographically confused.:-)
Miss Nations is obviously smoking something she shouldnt

Anonymous said...
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