Tuesday, 12 October 2010


Well dear readers you may have been wondering whats been happening to The Beast of late . I can exclusivley reveal...... much the same as usual.
Its been one long round of work , work and more work .

It was decided that iether Cafe C or Mr C needed a facelift , with limited time and a credit crunched budget Mr C was packed off with great wadges of  masking tape and a bulldog clip at the back of his neck holding everything in place cunningly hidden under a cartwheel hat with stuffed animals and piles of fruit on top

 The far easier  and cheaper option of revamping the Cafe exterior was taken. Marvel dear reader at Mr C's golden sconces
Other Cafe C related news.
We had a health inspection and managed to blag FOUR FECKING GOLD STARS.......how cool is that.

A frankly barking Mavis Boyle made a comeback

Mavis was last seen cavorting on stage  and going down a storm with the assembled rug munchers
Mavis/Frobisher confided to me next morning that they found it hard to believe he wasnt born a natural woman..... make of that gentle reader what you will!

On the whole Cafe C has been a happy ship sailing the high seas of culinary excellence heaving to on  occasion to phillibuster the local competition  , and  possibly scrape Captain C's barnacles .This is blatantly an excuse to bandy that old nautical favourite His bottom is foul (look it up....the term  dumbass not Mr C's  FOUR FECKING GOLD STAR HYGENICALLY CLEAN bottom)
However we have had our instances of discord , just this past weekend The Beasts fantastical plate dressing skills were called into questions......and cross words were had

Anyway (Piggy's favourite word) , onwards and upwards as our happy clappy American chums would have it , and apart from the odd unforseen incident (An unfortunate trainspotting outburst from James on Taunton Station...I was mortified)
Everything is going great :-) 


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Will there be a reality TV show based upon the comings and goings (however kippery) of Cafe C? Will we see Kim & Aggie marvelling at it's cleanliness then have Mr C bark at them for getting in the way, somewhat like that Gordon Ramsby?

xl said...

Are the golden sconces a deliberate ploy to attract the Tutankhamen crowd?

MJ said...

Gilding your scones doesn't fool anyone.

Princess said...

4 gold stars!... Did they check out the loo after curry nite?....

Scarlet Blue said...

So clean that even the showers are golden?

BEAST said...

IVD : It would get huge audiences but sadly put the lie to my slandering of Mr C's cherubic personality :-)

XL : its better than Dorchester Tutankhamen Experience....which is a complete pile of crap

MJ : It is a teaser for the Cafe C experience thats waiting for you inside . The current local slang in Dorchester for a blinding hangover is Being Jagoed.
Princess . Our lavatory is checked regularly by staff members , if you have a problem with this facility please contact a member of staff :-)

Miss Scarlet: I am suprised you have time to comment with all that facebook poking going on . Shall we give Miss MJ the facebook experience by having a frenzied ***POKE*** in her comments box

Roses said...

Congratulations for pulling off the 4 stars.

Tell me, how much did you have to clean the night before? Or did you go straight to the bribery?

MJ said...

When are Lloyd and Alfie going to visit again?

Better yet, when are they getting their own blog?

BEAST said...

Roses . Cafe C is always spotless , it was so exciting getting the four stars :-)
Miss MJ . Lloyd is in the dog house so to speak , the little swine chewed my seatbelt and made my car fail its MOT :-(

MJ said...

It’s The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition over at Donn’s blog!

MJ said...

A reliable source (Miss Scarlet) informs us that your REAL name is Beastly-von-Vantitty.

Why have you kept this a secret from us?

BEAST said...

Miss Scarlet has obviously been hitting the bottle Miss MJ and is quite deranged

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