Thursday, 28 October 2010

FUCKING SCALLOPS


I hate bollocking frozen scallops . Cafe C does a marvellous line of salad bowls  .The Beast  looks on these as an artistic challenge and has managed to give the impresion of an opening flower  with the payload gently nestled in the magic fronds , glistening tomatoes , a constellation of assorted salad vegetables and studded with black olives
I just realised that sounds almost pornographic , however we digress , The one salad bowl that almost makes me run screaming down Dorchester high street with my chef trousers on my head is Pan Seared FUCKING SCALLOPS
Bastard frigging things
***does angry dance***
Some bastard always orders one when I am up to my neck in smoking paninii , steaming jackets , bubbling Carribean chicken curry and bleating waitresses.
One day soon  , something will snap and I will fly from the kitchen and beat the happless diner to death with the frozen bag of  fishy fiends.
Just sayin !

22 comments:

xl said...

"frozen"

Well, there's your problem!

Have them flown in fresh daily from wherever the hell it is scallops come from. Charge premium prices, too!

Princess said...

I'll have that cute little plate of scallops you do for Six people please...

MJ said...

Did you stuff the Kipper Surprise down your trousers?

Scarlet Blue said...

I hate frozen bollocks..
Sx

Scarlet Blue said...

...or you could pan sear their bollocks...
Sx

63mago said...

AWH Come on! It's Fish'n'Chips witha shrimp!

savannah said...

i LOVE scallops and have almost mastered the pan searing technique, sugar, but xl is right, only FRESH will sear correctly. but then, you probably know that already...and that's why frozen ones are such a pain. xoxoxox

Roses said...

Change the menu when no one's looking.

I like scallops, but I wouldn't bollock them.

Donn Escapeons said...

Conratulations!

MJ said...

Hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Frozen scallops are the least of your problems now.

Congratulations- Or should that be: Commiserations?

63mago said...

Congratulations, BEAST, wear them with pride.


For unknown reasons I am not able to comment on Donnn's or other overseas blogs.

savannah said...

Congratulations! i can't wear to see you in the green elf shorts! xoxoxo

BEAST said...

Thanks everyone , I cant wait to get my mitts on the FGES , we have plans
Oh yes we do

Scarlet Blue said...

I'm gonna nick 'em.
Sx

S.I.D. said...

Congrats on the TFGES.

Enjoy the shame!

BEAST said...

You will have to wrestle them off my cold dead corpse Miss Scarlet as obviously I will wear them constantly

BEAST said...

I can live with the Shame Mr SID , to become one of the chosen few

Scarlet Blue said...

It'll take more than fabreze to get rid of the stench...
I DON'T CARE!!! I CAN'T LIVE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THE SHORTS ARE ONLY 2 HOURS AWAY.
A scarlet invasion is imminent.
Sx

Donn Escapeons said...

I only hope and pray, that on that fateful day when you go postal, that someone in attendance will have the prescence of mind to record the events and post them to YouTube.

BEAST said...

Cool your ardour Miss Scarlet , they have not arrived yet

Roses said...

Congrats Beast.

Looking forward to the picture of the scrap between you, Frobisher and Ms Scarlet. I hope there's video footage.

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