BLESSED

It has been a week of miracles .
Firstly The Beast has won The Freakin Green Elf Shorts and they will be travelling back to the UK . I expect the economic woes to dissapate and peace and love to blossom as the sainted garment lands on our shores.

Secondly Mr C has found God (would have thought the all seeing all knowing diety could have dodged that one) and now wants to be known as Sister C of the Steaming Panini , and will offering a free confession with every sambuca shot purchased.

Whatever next , a virgin birth from Mavis during a live Bingo set ??? 

FUCKING SCALLOPS

I hate bollocking frozen scallops . Cafe C does a marvellous line of salad bowls  .The Beast  looks on these as an artistic challenge and has managed to give the impresion of an opening flower  with the payload gently nestled in the magic fronds , glistening tomatoes , a constellation of assorted salad vegetables and studded with black olives
I just realised that sounds almost pornographic , however we digress , The one salad bowl that almost makes me run screaming down Dorchester high street with my chef trousers on my head is Pan Seared FUCKING SCALLOPS
Bastard frigging things
***does angry dance***
Some bastard always orders one when I am up to my neck in smoking paninii , steaming jackets , bubbling Carribean chicken curry and bleating waitresses.
One day soon  , something will snap and I will fly from the kitchen and beat the happless diner to death with the frozen bag of  fishy fiends.
Just sayin !

Freakin Competition

If Old Knudsen were King and Miss Mj were Queen!

SAME OLD SCHTICK

Well dear readers you may have been wondering whats been happening to The Beast of late . I can exclusivley reveal...... much the same as usual.
Its been one long round of work , work and more work .

It was decided that iether Cafe C or Mr C needed a facelift , with limited time and a credit crunched budget Mr C was packed off with great wadges of  masking tape and a bulldog clip at the back of his neck holding everything in place cunningly hidden under a cartwheel hat with stuffed animals and piles of fruit on top

 The far easier  and cheaper option of revamping the Cafe exterior was taken. Marvel dear reader at Mr C's golden sconces

Other Cafe C related news.

We had a health inspection and managed to blag FOUR FECKING GOLD STARS.......how cool is that.

A frankly barking Mavis Boyle made a comeback

Mavis was last seen cavorting on stage  and going down a storm with the assembled rug munchers

Mavis/Frobisher confided to me next morning that they found it hard to believe he wasnt born a natural woman..... make of that gentle reader what you will!

On the whole Cafe C has been a happy ship sailing the high seas of culinary excellence heaving to on  occasion to phillibuster the local competition  , and  possibly scrape Captain C's barnacles .This is blatantly an excuse to bandy that old nautical favourite His bottom is foul (look it up....the term  dumbass not Mr C's  FOUR FECKING GOLD STAR HYGENICALLY CLEAN bottom)

However we have had our instances of discord , just this past weekend The Beasts fantastical plate dressing skills were called into questions......and cross words were had

Anyway (Piggy's favourite word) , onwards and upwards as our happy clappy American chums would have it , and apart from the odd unforseen incident (An unfortunate trainspotting outburst from James on Taunton Station...I was mortified)

Everything is going great :-)