Thursday, 27 May 2010

EAGER BEAVER

In the early hours of monday morning Beast was dragged from beneath his fragrant Duvet by the insitant ringing of the Beast phone to be summoned to an ailing Miss MJ's assistance .
As the Betty Ford swat team tightened the last strap and manhandled Miss MJ off for 'a long rest' , Beast was given instructions to look after Miss MJ's favourite pet for the duration.










This bad tempered , evil smelling brute is now making the Beasts life a mysery .It has so far demolished the Beasts nest of occasional tables to build a dam in the bath and is eyeing my classic oak dining table in a very nasty way. To keep the little swine out of trouble I have taken to wearing it strapped to my head as a hat.If it was good enough for Davey Crocket its good enough for me.


 Relations had been a little cool with Miss Scarlet of late after the buttered buttocks/patio doors incident , that resulted in Miss S knocking off a very terse letter of complaint to Mr C advising that propper staff training and tighter stock control at Cafe C would have prevented a nasty situation and some very stubborn stains.She has however recognised the comedic potential of my current house guest and has taken to late night anonimous phone calls where she breathes  in a variety of ridiculous accents "Nice Beaver Mr Beastie" and then guffaws loudly .  

One has to excuse Miss Scarlet sometimes . She lives in the middle of a field in darkest Devon where this type of behaviour and whittling mangle wurzels passes for entertaining evening in until television reception arrives (expected Late 2015) .In case your wondering a Devonian evening out usually involves a portable BBQ and shovel and scraping something up off the road.
However I digress , I am sure you will all join me in wishing Miss MJ a speedy return to her Mojo .

17 comments:

Scarlet Blue said...

...I'd be careful of the cars if you're walking alone down a devon lane late at night...
We roast anything.
Sx
*slaps Mr Beastie for the second time today*

xl said...

Beware of MJ's beaver. Antibiotic resistant. Just saying.

Oh Hai Miss Scarlet!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

What happens if the Beaver is barbecued? MJ would be LIVID!

Hai Miss Scarlet, xl!

mago said...

Can't you nail the beaver onto something?

MJ said...

I am not commenting until I’ve calmed down.

MJ said...

And furthermore…

When did my beaver become a public topic of conversation?

MJ said...

And could someone please explain mangle wurzel to me?

I'm sure we don't have anything of that nature here in The Colonies.

Scarlet Blue said...

Personally, I like to think of my whittling as sculpture... but Mr Beastie is a heathen of the lowest order.
There is no better pleasure than playing with your mangelwurzel late into the evening.
I dread to think what Mr Beastie does with his.
Sx

MJ said...

Is it edible, Miss Scarlet?

I'm not talking as a horse or other barnyard animal, for which I'm sure it is a dietary staple...but as a human being.

mago said...

The Wurzels great hit was "I'm a cider drinker".

MJ said...

As usual on this blog, this post has gone right off the rails.

MJ said...

By the way, I clicked on that beaver pic and that is NOT a Canadian beaver.

It's AMERICAN!

Traitor!

Scarlet Blue said...

I think you have to do stuff with a mangelwurzel to make it edible. Cook and suchlike... not really my forte.
Mr Beastie probably has a weird and wonderful recipe somewhere. It probably tastes like old socks and nail clippings.
Sx

BEAST said...

***feeds Miss Scarlets latest Mangle Wurzel 'sculpture' to Miss MJ's Beaver***

MJ said...

I don't have to sit here and take this, you know.

eroswings said...

Give the beaver some wood. They love wood in their mouths--keeps them occupied while it frees you up to do some errands.

inkspot said...

Mysery is good Beast, both misery and mystery.

There is a beaver dam visible from space. Canadian of course.

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