Saturday, 25 December 2010


I hope you are all having a relaxing and merry Christmas . The Beast feverishly unwrapped his presents this morning to find this horror . Hand made by Ma Beasty at her WI arts class or it may have been her AA rehabilitation course that nice judge Insisted she went to , when she was caught trying to shoplift a 50 pound frozen turkey from lidl's in the gusset of her tights . One suspects the hand of Mr C in this doomed adventure with his current crusade to ' rationalize and streamline the Cafe C cost base to within acceptable parameters' .....
One also suspects this involves armies of old ladies and small children liberating stock from every retail outlet within free bus pass range of Dorchester.
Anyway I digress , would anyone like to hazard a guess as to what the hell this is ??? And inform us as to the best and worse of this years presents

- Posted using BlogPress from my Ifad :-)


eroswings said...

Merry Xmas and Happy New Year, Beast and company!!!


What a lovely replica you have of Her Royal Highness Liz giving her annual Xmas speech!

Princess said...

Is it Frosty the Snowman wishing upon a star, but only getting the
3rd angel on the right from the chorus in this years panto at "Cafe C"?

Merry Christmas Mr Beastie to all of you and yours...

CyberPete said...

Merry Christmas.

I don't know what it is but it looks demonic! I'd lock it in the basement or bury it in the yard.

FirstNations said...

It seems....upset. And it has a homonunculus. Anything handicrafted bears avoiding anyway, but...damn. Thats just...

I'd stay away from it.

best prezzie: A KITCHENAID STAND MIXER (institutional standard, appropriately enough)

worst prezzie: a boxed holiday ornament in the form of a turd wearing a santa hat. it came with a 28 page booklet.

oh yes.

(muchas smooches, beastie! merry holidays!)


at present, or at least as of 4am this morning, there is a maimed rodent careening randomly around under my bathtub with a trap attached to it.

*bangs head on desk*

BEAST said...

Pete has the best suggestion so far , altho I think I might bury it in someone elses garden ....just to be on the safe side .
Miss Nations has the best presents with the food mixer and a boxed Mr Hanky. I is jealous :-(

Roses said...

I got a picture, and The Grinch Who Stole XMas by Dr. Seuss, so I'm a happy bunny.

Personally, I think you need to set fire to that thing and sprinkle the ashes over running water, just to be on the safe side.

*sprinkles salt everywhere*

MJ said...

Is it a plum pudding cover?

I got a book entitled "50 Years of Coronation Street."

I know you are green with envy.

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Mr. Beast.
I got a collection of perfume probes. In small ampullae. Very nice and tasteful. It would complement this nice and tasteful product of imagination that sits on your couch. We could throw it all together and burn it in a trash can. Nice and tasteful.

BEAST said...

Miss Roses and Mr Mago are having pyromaniac fantasies so best keep the matches locked awayf or now .
Miss MJ , I am not a Corrie fan however Mr Frobisher will probably be stalking you for a glimpse of that book , so keep your windows locked

Roses said...

Quite frankly, it looks like the sort of thing, that sneaks into your bedroom at night and tries to stab you to death, all while singing 'Deck the Halls'.

Burn it.

BEAST said...

Miss Roses . It has been left locked in the boot of the car and will only be bought out when Ma Beasty visits .
I am intrigued by Mr Magos perfume probes and Miss Nations rodent

Scarlet Blue said...

It is a knitted object giving birth to a felt object. Both are cunningly disguised as festive ornaments.
Do I win a prize?
Have the FGES arrived yet?

BEAST said...

Thats close enough Miss Scarlet . The ghastly thing is in the post :-)
No sign of the FGES yet

FirstNations said...

I'm intrigued by Mago's perfumed probe.

xl said...

Happy New Year!
Turn it up to 11!

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MJ said...


That's French for Happy New Year.

eroswings said...

Happy New Year, Beast!

I hope the demon doll hasn't attacked you in your sleep!


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Happy New Year!

BEAST said...

Happy New Year one and all :-)

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