Friday 4 December 2020

IN WHICH FROBISHER HAS A MANASTROPHE(UrbanDict)

I bumped into Frobisher the other evening when we all went out for dinner . Frobisher changed jobs a few years ago and was released from the control of Sarah Lawrence who has also changed career and is now the biker chick undertaker (don't ask! she now rides a motorbike to work , shouts an anyone who will listen that ITS A F*CKING BIG BIKE (any dissent or sarky comments regarding the bikes size may get a surprise visit to discuss ones imminent requirement for a funeral package).

Anyway Sarah ran a very tight ship and expected perfect manners, diction , grammar and spelling.

Frobisher is now working with young people and has gone all street.

He tells me his bitches be super swaggy . It took me ages searching urban dictionaries to work out he had probably bought his home help new rubber gloves.He also insists Tobydog is now called Tobydawg as the dog has 'madskillz'' 

Moving on from Frobisher's ongoing mid life crisis(A manastropy in urban terms) and to Tobydawg


.


What Frobisher doesn't know is Tobydawg does indeed have "madskillzz" and has been promoted to my therapy dog.

A while back when I had the bladder cancer removal opps they did something to one of my nerves  controlling my right leg causing it to ache , tire very quickly and not work properly. The consultants just said oh dear  well they do have to get you into some pretty weird positions to do the opps but hopefully it will get better. I   limped around for about a year and it didn't reallly improve.

One day I was just walking down Mr C's back passage when Tobes came charging down the stairs behind me on route for the garden and piled straight into me  at full pelt knocking me flat on my face. I mean lliterally face plant.

When I staggered up off the floor Tobes was just wagging his tail and jumping about . I could tell straight away my leg felt better. The discomfort had gone and it just felt different. and over the following few weeks I marched about strengthening it up . These days it is almost entirely back to normal

So Tobydog sorry dawg is now my chiropractor therapy dog

9 comments:

The Mistress said...

Hoorah for Toby the WonderDog! I refuse to call him a dawg. And please ask Mr. Frobisher to refrain from abusing the letter "z."

Speaking of Mr. Frobisher, isn't he a bit long-in-the-tooth for a mid-life crisis?

Mr. DeVice was talking about HIS back passage, too. Is there something I'm missing? Is there a trend for back passages?

BEAST said...

MJ Mr Jagos is always being complimented on the cleanliness of his back passage . frequented by literally thousands of people over the years I shall take photos in the near future

Frobisher has barely aged a day , it like he was preserved in amber

Tobydog has a bit of a history of knocking me over , almost knocking out with headbutts and general over excited biting. When I visit Mr C Tobydog generally goes mad and Mr C stomps back in , asking what all the yelling barking and screaming is about and why am I bleeding. I usually get banished to one end of the building for attention seeking and Tobydog gets banished to the garden for behaviour unbecoming. :-(

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Well done Tobydog! I wonder if Mr C would lend him out - my keft knee hasn't been right since July.

Very Mistress: a back passsage is the new black!


P.S. I guess the life of a film superstar in Spain didn't pan out for Mr Frobisher, then?

Ms Scarlet said...

Well done Toby dog! I hope you gave him steak for his tea?

Meanwhile, I am so confused by all these back passages popping up everywhere that I have no idea which one to slip down.

Sx

BEAST said...

Ms Scarlet , You have actually been in Mr C's back passage. You probabably do not remember having also experienced Mr C's magic shot bottle

BEAST said...

IDV Frobisher's jaunt into the Spanish world of the arts is shrouded in mystery . After I retrieved him from the detention centre following a Leave this country and never come back deportation order he told me they were philistines and did not recognise his incandescent star quality and I was ordered to never mention it again unless I was summoned as a character witness. So take what you will from that!

dinahmow said...

Yay Go! Tobydog.
Who is this Mr Frobisher of whom you speak? No, he is not known to me, officer.

Steve. Because 'Steve' is almost as nice a name as 'Paul'. said...

OMG I remember when that happened! Toby the wonder dog saves the mo'fukkin day, g! And lordy lordy, Frobisher still walks the land? Will wonders never cease? Here's my question, snakehips: where YOU been?

BEAST said...

Well Steve. I have been all over the place . Locked down . Released from lockdown . Got Jagos all ready to open and then got locked down AGAIN . unlocked down . Jagos opened (Big stress leading up to that) all going well , back to work public facing rather than from home . Caught covid (Despite being double vaxxed) just getting over that now :-)

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