BSCA is my cleaning Buddy
The closest you will find to her is a chirpy cockney that inhabit 1940's war films set in Blitz wrecked London . There is always a cockney char lady who would say things like "Gawd bless you govnor yur a real gent ! " as she scurried about with a mop and bucket and would likely break out into a rousing chorus of "Roll out the Barrel" or the "Lambeth Walk" at the drop of a hat.
She scurried in on one occasion looking perplexed and squawked at me
"Why do people think I am fucking common" ( a shortening of the idiom As Common as muck which implies a person of lower class , lacking sophistication).
She is an excellent cleaner , no messing about just gets on with it . She twitters away the whole time and you catch occasional nuggets from her strange life as she goes along like
"and that's how I learnt to build a bomb! "
"imagine my surprise when it was MI5 banging on my door , and me in the shower"
I tend to nod wisely and don't ask
I addition to being a super cleaner she has other talents . She is a Mr C whisperer . When we are approaching a full moon and Mr C has one of his heads and is kicking off about something or other he rings BSCA and they have a chat and magically all is well but she also communes in a weird way with Mr C's dog Toby that comes to stay when he buggers off on his travels.
Toby adores BSCA and he is allowed out when she is about. He follows her about as she cleans leaning on her while she twitters away to him .
When Toby went back home last time BSCA asked me if I was missing him , I said I was but I did not miss the endless game of Ball and Blanket (Hiding his favourite ball under his blanket , he then scuffles about , kills the blanket , gets all tied up in knots and eventually retrieves the ball which I have to hide again...... it goes on for hours)
BSCA then announced that Toby feels the same way and only plays it as he feels it keeps me occupied and I seem to enjoy it . She then followed up with that Toby felt I was a bit "special" and needed to be looked after . Special in inverted commas meaning special needs .
Firstly the bloody cheek of it and secondly not being paranoid I just knew they were talking about me :-(