Well three weeks in and the diet is going well .However the fat is going from the extremeties first , and not my guts , so as I lay alluringly on the couch , sensously smoking a cigar , I probably look more like a casually tossed aside set of bagpipes* than Micheangelo's David......still onwards and upwards.
I was having a bit of a nerdy session and was reading up on the 'Interweb' ** on weight loss and found a couple of horrifying reports.The first stated if I didnt lose weight prety damn quick , the multiplying fat cells would suppress the testosterone production and I would grow an enormous pair of hooters. In this event I could always make the best of a bad lot and make a feature of them ...... paint them with flourescent paint and surround them with fairy lights?????. I would always have something to play with on a quiet night in I suppose.
The other report was monitoring groups of people on varying degrees of low fat diet. If you
looked
at the figures for the people on extreme low fat intakes , the percentage increase for a violent cause of death(ie being murdered) was massive. The scientist bods reckoned this was becuase fat passifies our moods , therefore very low fat= very volatile person , who was more likely to put themselves in situations where they meet a sticky end.So there you have it unless The Beast steers a very careful middle road I will iether have to go and buy a bra or I will get murdered (probably at the hands of the Slimming World class mates , should I win Slimmer of the week again! ).
Would anyone like to share a donut ????
*Note to self : the Tartan Boxer Shorts , albeit very competively priced , were possibly a fashion faux par
** Mr Mutley in his new Head Of IT role , informs me this is the correct term , as it is a 'web' of net thingies (thats a technical term apparently)
