REVELATIONS

I got up on Friday morning and felt flipping dreadful , so I went back to bed and slept most of the day and the next night , and recovered just in time for my Saturday shift at Cafe C .....Phew I here you say dear reader , that was lucky! . I arrived nice and early , so I could make a delicious fresh soup and get all my kitchen prep done , only to find myself locked out in the pouring rain for an hour as Mr C claims to have left the door open for me but some unamed person then locked it. I retired to Starbucks and dripped on their leather upholstelry while quaffing a reviving cup of foam until the waittress arrived to let me in .

 Anyway enough of my blethering and on to more pressing medical and pscycological disorders that are currently plagueing Cafe C.

After being lambasted for some minor chicken related incident ,I had cause to raise the issue of Mr C's random mood swings , a cherubic little bundle of joy one minute , a snarling  , yelling whirlwind the next.
To my suprise Dr C had already self diagnosed  , and claimed emphatically to be suffering from BiPolariod Disorder











I am not medically qualified myself but I imagine this is a variant of bipolar disorder (Patron Saint Kerry Kantona) with the added horror of hanging heamorriods(the smarting of which could explain the sudden bursts of temper.


Myself , I had taken a wild stab in the dark and decided upon demonic possesion If all else failed I was going to try beating Mr C with a bible while shouting the Lords
prayer .
This was obviously  the least prefered option during restaurant service.




So thats Mr C sorted , now on to James . It had not gone unoticed that since James got an Iphone , he was often to be found skulking in corners , looking very shifty , fiddling with his internet connection .We jumped to the obvious conclusion that the man was becoming a drooling porn hound , and set about stealing his phone for confirmation at the earliest oppertunity . Imagine our horror to find it was a lot worse than we first thought. Avert your eyes readers of a delicate constitution or nursing mothers....




Oh yes we have outed James as an internet PLANE SPOTTER . His internet links were chocca block with pictures of Jumbo Jets , wings akimbo , undercarraige down or thrusting into the air in a most libidinous manner  , plus numerous links to cancelled flight information sites. I think he wanted to be discovered and its an obvious cry for help.




Which brings us to Frobisher . In he staggers on Saturday , totters about like he had accidently filled his trousers and eventually admitted to a bad back and staggered off home . I would imagine the rest of Frobi's weekend went something like this :-)

PS. You will have to excuse any misspellings but the sodding spellchecker has vapourised from my tools bar :-(